I'm Stacy, a 17 years old and slightly depressed, crazed, and in love with someone who doesn't want me anymore. I workout to seal with my self image problems. I always put others before me so yeah.
I can’t afford to lose someone again and I don’t want anyone else to leave my life again. I’m tired of constantly getting hurt every time. One day, I meet someone new and start talking to them, and one day we’re completely strangers the next. I just want someone who wont leave. Please stay…
I’m tired of completely feeling like shit everyday. I’m tired of feeling ignored and replaced by others around me. I’m tired of getting hurt, almost every single day. I’m tired of feeling broken. I’m tired of everything…
I don’t want to live life. I’m tired of everything and I don’t know how to deal with any of this anymore. I’m so tired of everything that I just don’t care about myself anymore. I don’t want to be here any longer. I just want to disappear.
He doesn’t give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need. To cause you pain. To help you. To hurt you. To be there for you. To leave you. To hate you. To love you. And… To make you the person you’re meant to be.
I love the people that hate and dislike me. I chase after the people who push me away. I say sorry, even though I know it isn’t my fault. I message/text people who don’t want to talk to me even though I want to talk to them. I worry about someone that probably isn’t even wasting a single second doing the same. I tell myself that I shouldn’t care… but in reality, that’s all I do.
But I don’t know when the right time is. I don’t know how to work things out, without the anger, frustration, pain, tears, and the yelling, showing and being released. I just want to be able to work things out with you… because I hate this position of “arguing” with the person that I love.
Everytime I read over our old conversations, it always puts me in the worst mood. I wish things would go back to the way they were before everything changed. I always blame myself for letting us drift. I think about what I could have said to you to make you stay. But it’s too late, and knowing that is the worst feeling in the world.
Was watching you walk away. It was actually complicated, difficult, and hard for me. I know it was tough for me, but I couldn’t let you be the reason why I felt miserable and sad. If you really wanted to stay in my life, I wouldn’t need to chase after you and you wouldn’t have left me in the first place.
